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Take that, Gower!




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lundi, septembre 17, 2007

Somer is y-going out.

My deere rederes, it hath been a longe somer, and ful of muchel labour. Kyng Richard hath been avoidyng his roial uncles and many gret lordes of his realm, for thei wolde parte hym from hys advysours and hys courte (the which hath sum thing to do wyth the parliament last fall that many call the "Wondirful Parliament” but that Kyng Richard calleth the “Merdeful”). And sithen ich am the clerke of the kinges werkes, ich haue had to do al of the administracioun, and followen the court and set up all maner of water-slydes and tournamentz and moon-bounces. And thus hys majestee hath visited mony straunge strondes and fer places. First he and hys court did goon to...

By seynt Thomas, I kan writen namoore of thys. Myn herte ys redy to burste out of myn chest, so gret is the angre and the bittre sorwe that ys in my soule...

STOP YOUR SCLAUNDRES OF BRITNEY!

By the blood and nayles and bones of Our Lord, how swyving dare any man to make japeryes of Britney de Speres? Considereth, ye churles, how many sorwes hath y-flocked Britney-ward. Her aunt hath perisshed, and eek she hath tasted the wo that is in mariage, and she hath two swyving enfauntes for the which she must care. Ywis, her hosbond she founde to be nat but an dronklewe man, and a foule adulterer, and nowe the custodie of the children is in the proces of the courtes of the realme.

All of yower care is for the rederes of gossip and the silver that ye shal win when ye speke of her adversitee. YWIS, SHE IS A FLESHLICH CREATURE LIKE THOU OR ME, YE CHURLES!

Ye aren too blinde to see that Britney filleth yower pockets. Forsooth, Britney bringeth food to yower tables, and ye acquite her this by writinge a parcel of merde concerninge her lyf!

She hath nat daunced yn a court yn yeeres. She hath cleped her newest ballad “Yive moore unto me” by cause that it signifieth your avarice and your sclaundre of her, for all ye churles desiren is MOORE MOORE MOORE MOORE MOORE.

STOP YOUR SCLAUNDRES OF BRITNEY!

Ye shoulde be thankful that Fortuna hath smiled on yow ynough that Britney hath perfourmed for you harlotes.

STOP YOUR SCLAUNDRES OF BRITNEY!

Johannes Gower hath talked of professionalism and seyd that if Britney was an trewe professional she wolde have plesed the court no mattir what. Concerninge the mattir of professionalism, Mayster Gower, whan hath it been a thing of professionalism to openli sclaundre a soule that endureth grete paines and sorrowes?

STOP YOUR SCLAUNDRES OF BRITNEY!

O benedicite! O Weylawey!

STOP YOUR SCLAUNDRES OF BRITNEY ANON. For ich speke of the treuthe. If eny of yow hath a problem with Britney, thou kanst do battle with me, Geoffrey Chaucer.

For al beth not wel with her right now.

Leave her al oon.

Je vous en prie.